Kid: “You know what’d be the most scary, messed up, weirdest headline? ‘Some Asshole Gets His Dick Chopped Off.'”
Me: “What the hell?”
Kid: “No, okay. This would be like the funniest, weirdest headline ever. ‘An asshole redneck runs out into the woods. Man runs into lumberjack, chops too far and chops his dick off. Man in hospital. Don’t know what to do with him.’ That’d be the most scary, weirdest, funny headline.”
Me: “Kinda long for a headline.”
Kid: “Okay, ‘Kid Gets Dick Chopped Off By Lumberjack In Woods.’ That’d be the worst, most funniest, weirdest, and scariest headline in the world.”

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